Yield Theory™

Yield Theory™ is an approach to communication that centers on leading with humility and genuine curiosity to meet others where they are and get around their fight or flight response. The goal is to speak, not just to talk, but so that you can actually be heard, regardless of the intensity of the emotions being experienced.

Yield Theory™ boils down to doing three core actions. That’s it. The three core actions are: Listen. Validate. Explore options. And of course, just as “all a martial artist does is move, block and hit,” the three core actions of Yield Theory are simple to state but it all comes down to how you listen, how you validate, and how you explore options. The actions are simple to describe, but they take effort to master.

Yield Theorists strive to put themselves behind the eyes of others to the extent that even attempting to do so helps people lead with humility and genuine curiosity (i.e., interest in what’s going on with others in the moment). By striving to see the world through others’ eyes, Yield Theorists empty their proverbial cups and constantly seek to learn.

Although Yield Theory™ does come down to just three core actions, the reality is that it’s also rooted in seven fundamental components that drive the way we listen, validate and explore options.

Those seven fundamental components are:

• Acceptance:  Acceptance centers on both accepting the reality of where people are (i.e., accepting the Real World as opposed to demanding that they be in our Cartoon World), as well as accepting what they’re ready, willing and able to take in (i.e., their stage of change). The fundamental component of acceptance is the first of the fundamental components because it is the core of “meeting people where they are.” Acceptance begins with listening, it’s reinforced with validation, and it evolves through exploring options.

• Authenticity: To be authentic is to operate from the true self or essence, as opposed to operating from the ego. That is why “telling others how it is” is not an act of authenticity, but of the ego’s need to be right. True authenticity is living from the humility of not knowing, but being curious to learn as much as possible in every moment. Authenticity is exuded through listening, validating and exploring options.

• Compassion: The word compassion literally refers to “suffering with” others, and when we lead with empathy, we exude compassion. When you come from a place of genuine concern and are actively striving to understand others, you create the kind of psychological safety that allows people to be less defensive. When others drop their guards, you have a real opportunity to connect. Compassion is exuded when you genuinely seek to understand, when you demonstrate patience, and when you care enough to challenge others in ways that effectively meets them where they are.

• Conscious Education: With conscious education, the goal is to add either insight or knowledge to others, thereby helping them expand their consciousness. For Yield Theory™ practitioners, having a breadth of knowledge in diverse areas is important for being able to add to what others know; but perhaps even more important is role modeling living the wisdom that you teach. Conscious education comes in most clearly during the third core action of exploring options.

• Creativity:  In order to effectively meet diverse learners where they are, it’s crucial to be able to present information in ways that work best for them, which is why creativity is such an important fundamental component of Yield Theory™. Whether it’s integrating teaching tales, drawing on metaphors, creative counseling techniques or just considering the most effective ways to meet others with diverse learning styles where they are, creativity is a key to connection. Creativity is most often seen in during the third core action of exploring options.

• Mindfulness: Mindfulness is essential to understanding both what you elicit in others and what others elicit in you. To be aware of how you come across to others in every given moment is as important to communication as being aware of your own thoughts and how you are impacted by others is. Mindfulness centers on your awareness of your thoughts, actions, tone of voice, physical presence, the situation, the other person, and everything present in a given moment. Mindfulness is cultivated through meditation and active exercises such as becoming the observer, as well as through extensive training watching “game film,” or video interactions. Mindfulness can be observed during all three core actions of listening, validating and exploring options.

• Nonattachment: Nonattachment is perhaps the key to whether or not a person is actually practicing Yield Theory™. To practice nonattachment is to understand that, just as you are not your material things, you are also not your thoughts and ideas. Although many commonly give lip service to the phrase, “I still have more to learn,” many still become defensive when others disagree with them, challenge their perspective, or believe things differently. To be nonattached is to be truly open to learning in every given moment. It is to let go of certainty, of memory, and even beliefs. Practicing nonattachment does not mean that one does not have a sense of certainty, a memory or even strongly held beliefs, it means that one is constantly open to letting go of them if new information demonstrates that the old information was not accurate. Nonattachment can be felt in a Yield Theory™ practitioner’s presence, but can be physically observed in the way one listens, validates and explores options with others, because there is no attachment to needing to be “right” about anything, and that constant openness to learning creates a psychologically safe environment that leads to circumventing others’ defensiveness and interacting in ways that are most effective.

For more on Yield Theory™, see Dr. Conte’s book, Walking Through Anger (also available in audiobook format from Audible).

Currently, Dr. Conte trains all PA Department of Corrections staff in Yield Theory™, and all newly incarcerated individuals go through at least one of his Yield Theory programs. Additionally, Dr. Conte trains law enforcement officers, counseling centers, hospitals, businesses, sports teams, and many others throughout the world in Yield Theory™.

In-person Yield Theory™ trainings are offered as follows:

• 3 Day Full Yield Theory™ Training
• 2 Day Intense Yield Theory™ Training
• 1 Day Initial Yield Theory™ Training

Dr. Conte also delivers keynote presentations on Yield Theory™, as well as talks centering on communication, de-escalation, stress management, anger management, leadership, wellness, and meditation.