Credibility is earned. The recipe for earning it isn’t complex: Follow through with what you say, say things that are accurate, and live the message that you’re asking others to live. Just because something’s easy to understand, however, doesn’t mean it’s easy to do. That is why people lose credibility or never achieve it in the first place. The great truth about credibility, though, is that as long as you’re alive, you still have a chance to gain credibility. So you’ve never lost it for good, but there are things you need to do: Follow through with what you say, say things that are accurate, and live the message that you’re asking others to live.
FOLLOW THROUGH WITH WHAT YOU SAY:
People don’t follow through with what they say for several reasons, but two primary reasons are: Sometimes people promise things they cannot follow through with because they are scam artists, they want to get over on others, and they know if they say things convincingly enough, at least some will fall for their empty promises. The other primary reason people often promise things they cannot follow through with is that they really want to be able to follow through; unfortunately, however, a reality that evades many is that: simply wanting to be able to do something does not mean that you can actually do it. So if you’re not a scam artist, then understand this: People see your actions, not your intentions, and it doesn’t matter how well-intentioned you are – when it comes to earning credibility, people are only going by what you do (just as you judge others solely on what they do, not on what they promise to do or mean to do).
BE ACCURATE:
People say inaccurate things for many reasons, but a main reason that people say inaccurate things is ego. Ego is so self-centered that it tries to convince its host that being right is more important than actual truth. So even when ego doesn’t know something, it acts like it does, and it even feels insulted or angry if others don’t believe it. Without a strong sense of self to counter the ego, a host will be consumed and controlled by it. Insecure people believe that not having an answer means that he or she is “less than” in some way, whereas secure people understand that no one has all the answers, and an openness to learning and a willingness to take in information from absolutely anyone, anywhere and at any time is a sign of great intelligence.
LIVE YOUR MESSAGE:
Finally, egos convince their host that appearing wise is important, so they believe they are intelligent by “telling others how to live,” even if they themselves are unwilling or unable to “practice what they preach.” Although we can all easily spot a fake, somehow we allow our egos to convince us that others cannot spot when we are not being authentic. The reality, however, is that just as easily as you can spot a fake, others can spot when you are not being genuine, too. That is why one of my general rules for building credibility is: Unless you have demonstrated you have lived a lesson over time* (through many different scenarios, obstacles and challenges), then it’s best not to teach it.
* This is the reason why, in general at least, life coaches in their twenties tend not to be as credible as their older counterparts: It’s one thing to teach a concept you read about in a book, it’s another thing entirely to have applied great-sounding wisdom through real-life obstacles and difficulties. This doesn’t mean that twenty-somethings can’t espouse great wisdom, coach others or even be really good at it, it merely means that they sound more credible when they deliver their messages with an overwhelming sense of humility, rather than with definitive certainty (which of course applies to all of us).
If you want to gain credibility, then follow through with what you say, be accurate with what you say, and strive first and foremost to live the message you have for others. Be mindful that the more you need others to see you as credible, the less credible you become. In other words, the more you try to force others to see you as credible, the less credibility you have, because A., credibility isn’t about forcing others to see you a certain way, but B., truth isn’t emotional: you either follow through with what you say or you don’t. You either speak accurately or you don’t. You either live your message or you don’t. The sun doesn’t have to be emotional or reactive if someone declares that it doesn’t exist or won’t come up the next day, because it does exist and it will come up the next day regardless of what anyone says. The more you understand this, and the more that you understand that you cannot make people see you as credible, the more you can be mindful not to waste time trying to convince others of your credibility (or anything else), and instead, you can strive to live the message that you want the world to learn.
Sending everyone who sees this, and everyone who doesn’t, much peace.